Dating a codependent man
After all, if you were better, cooler, or more desirable, you’d be able to stand up for yourself.When you don’t feel as though you have anything to offer and you’re desperate for someone to complete you, you will tend to shift your boundaries and sacrifice your values for someone else in the hopes that this will prompt them to like you. They rely on obligation and allow themselves to be used – as well as live in fear of conflict or disagreement – because they don’t feel that they can rely on their own value.
This is going to be a tricky section because what I’m about to say is going to sound an awful lot like victim-blaming, which is not my intent. People who have poor boundaries and low self-esteem are typically easy prey for abusers.
and both are capable of reaping the rewards that come with rebuilding both.
Part of the reason I stuck in the relationship I mentioned was a simple matter of low confidence; I had more than convinced myself that I was lucky to have this relationship at fault if it does – you will often find yourself knuckling under rather than drawing a line and saying “No.
No further.” The lack of belief in yourself feeds into an insidious self-perpetuating cycle.
It’s hard to stand up for yourself when you believe that you have very little of value to offer in the first place – something that is reinforced by the way that people walk over you and take advantage of you.